When I'm Found in the Desert Place

So if you haven't read Melissa's most recent post on Considering Loss, you should.  Cuz I feel like we both went through the same steps and came to the same conclusion...only she did it half a day ahead of me.

I don't know why or how I sometimes get so focused on money.  I don't do it so much with things, I tend to be pretty good about not really caring about things.  But money on the other hand, money is a control issue for me.  So all I've been thinking about is: if I don't get a job, and if we weren't surrounded by loving family and friends, then, worst case scenario, we could default on our lease agreement.  Therefore, I made a bad decision with my money.  Therefore I wasted all that money.  Therefore I've put us out on the street, with no money and bad credit and no job and...



Oh yeah, God is in control.  Oh yeah.  We are surrounded by loving family and friends.  Oh yeah.  Even if that were not the case -- GOD.  God only happens to be the master and lord of the entire universe.  Did you notice how I had been focusing on my prowess, intelligence, and money making abilities?  I blame it on all the résumé writing I've been doing...

Ok, I know you all have probably read and heard this bible passage, I know you've at least heard it referenced.  But it speaks more eloquently to this situation than I could.  God is actually talking to his people who have forgotten His God-ness (or focused on their own-ness, which amounts to the same thing):

"Hear, O my people, and I will speak,        O Israel, and I will testify against you:        I am God, your God.  I do not rebuke you for your sacrifices        or your burnt offerings, which are ever before me.  I have no need of a bull from your stall        or of goats from your pens,  for every animal of the forest is mine,        and the cattle on a thousand hills.  I know every bird in the mountains,        and the creatures of the field are mine.  If I were hungry I would not tell you,        for the world is mine, and all that is in it.  Do I eat the flesh of bulls        or drink the blood of goats?  Sacrifice thank offerings to God,        fulfill your vows to the Most High,  and call upon me in the day of trouble;        I will deliver you, and you will honor me."

That's from Psalm 50.  See how much is there?  I especially love the part where he asks, "Do you think I actually eat the animals you sacrifice or drink their blood?  Did you think I actually needed your sacrifice for food?"

So thanks God, I've been reminded and rebuked.  You don't actually need me to do anything.  In fact, when I can't do anything there is no confusion about who did all the work.  And You get all the glory.  As it should be.